As the page turns…

A few weeks ago I turned 35. For as long as I can remember, I've navigated toward the number 35. If asked, "What's your lucky number?", I would resoundingly respond with "35!!!". I've held this particular year with a special kind of honor and love. There's always been a deep knowing that year 35 would be a catalyst of something sacred, carrying a sense of beauty and magic.

I'm discovering why.

There's a cost for beauty and magic to unfold. It's called surrender and letting go. 2020 was a year of shedding- shedding ideals, false beliefs, fear, and attachments. I'm discovering that that the shedding process never ceases, rather it softens over time as we lose resistance to what authenticity requires. 2020 has been a process of realignment and recalibration to discover what authenticity really means.

Here's what realignment in 2020 has been for me. Pehaps some of these may also resonate with your experience:

Cultivating a spiritual life that supports me, especially in times of hardship and grief.

Opening my heart and learning to be intentional about the relationships that are meant for me and my continued growth.

Learning that heartbreak is a necessary step in love in order to learn how to open the heart and understand the courage and commitment to SELF it requires to keep it open. This lesson is such a teacher of compassion as closed hearts are the root of our fear, separation, and division. Choosing the path of open heartedness is truly the path of the warrior.

Understanding that chapters close so new ones can open and that the pain of that closure is always calling towards grace.

Grace requires experiencing darkness in order to call the darkness into question and discover only light exists. An awakened heart lies on the other side of that darkness.

That peace comes at the cost of deep honesty and truth. Peace is always calling for truth.

Learning what unconditional love really means and how I'd been giving of it and looking for it in all the wrong places only to discover its purpose was first and foremost for me.

Liberation from shame around my identity in all the many ways- body, gender, race, and sexuality. Being open and undefined, allowing love and connection whichever way I choose, and truly loving the body and skin I'm in as I understand that my body is the opportunity for me and others to love more deeply.

Allowing myself to feel all emotion deeply and to communicate them without judgement. My inner child and I are in building a deep partnership with one another.

Not allowing others to minimize or gaslight my experience and emotions. This is the path of discovering authentic voice and expression.

There are only two choices, love or fear. Fear is known and familiar and love is diving into the unknown in order to recognize that love was actually always home.

Taking my wig off and talking about fear and shame on the Tedx stage when only a few years ago I was terrified to speak and wear my natural hair.

Honoring the commitment to hike/walk at least 2 miles a day and completing a 10 mile hike, where only 2 years ago, I could barely hike 2 miles. All proving that change doesn't have to be hard. All it requires is a small, simple commitment that will lead to big results.

Learning to allow what is - whether silence, aloneness, fear, judgement, gratitude, creativity, love, laughter, anger, sadness, joy, or whatever else, all are divine and all are part of the greater experience.

A deepened understanding on the nature of relationship to lovingly support, serve, and witness the journey without attachment. It's highest aim is to provide safety and space to allow, support, and encourage authenticity. Relationships are spiritual practice and the friends, lovers, and family in our lives are a blessing to have and to behold.

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The spiritual meaning of 35 is about positive change and developing a positive attitude towards every aspect of life because your thoughts create your reality. 35 calls for transition and urges you to re-evaluate your life, relationships, and dreams by letting go of old habits and embracing a new way. It is a calling towards wholeness and a knowing that life gets to be good and authenticity is key.

Cheer's to 35 years on the planet and the expansion that continues to unfold. 2021 will be a sacred and powerful year of beauty and magic.